Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Best Beauty Tricks No One Ever Told Me

I am no trained professional in the art of beauty tricks, I can only classify myself as an above average educated makeup freak with plenty of time to experiment.
These are some of the things that I have learned / designed / maneuvered over the years to fit my regime and problem set.
At one point in my life, I wanted to write a little book called "The Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me," but quickly tossed that idea, as I didn't want it to look like I blamed my awesome mother for not being the OCD skin and makeup girl that she raised, and I was just too impatient to sit down and go.

I hope these tricks help...
PS: If you get uncomfortable easily, especially by the basic parts of the human body and its functions, you should probably go elsewhere for your advice.


1. Make your own Tend Skin.... because the real stuff is way too overpriced for its ingredients.
Basically, Tend Skin is a toner. It prevents and treats bumps and ingrown hairs,  but I also used it on my face when I had really bad acne and it completely helped. 
Warnings: this stuff is DRY. moisturize your face and HANDS immediately after using it.
The recipe I used: 1- mix 2.5 oz of witch hazel with 8 aspirin.
2- mix 5.5 oz isopropyl rubbing alcohol with 18 aspirin
the witch hazel will dissolve the aspirin slower, so you have to do this separately.
3- once both mixtures are complete, combine the two. I used to put it in a squirt bottle so it was easier to use.

.2. Don't shave down there.... because waxing, epilating, and laser hair removal make it look a lot better.
Is this too much info? Should I stop? Too bad. 
Shaving is one of the worst things you can do for your netherlands. Man up and go for a brazilian. If you have the money do the laser, even though it was the most pain I've ever and endured and made my tattoo feel like a puppy lick. 

3. Tease your hair for a messy bun ...  because it's so much easier than placing 400 bobby pins. Just put your hair in a ponytail where you want it, tease the heck out of it, and swirl it into a bun. You're welcome

4. Push out blackheads with a bobby pin ... because the end tip of the bobby pin... the cul de sac looking area, is the perfect size and pressure point. 

5. Wash your hair no more than 3 times a week ...  because it will truly make your hair healthier and less greasy in the long run. Trust. Switch up your shampoo once every couple washes also. Just rotate between brands. 

6. Overplucking will never look good ... on anybody. Ever. I'm telling you, you would rather have bush eyebrows than nothing, and don't test the waters just to make sure. If you don't have the patience or ability to carve out your own brows based on your bone structure, wait for a professional!

7. Never put bronzer on the center of your face ... because unless you have an extremely unfortunately proportioned face, you should not be trying to recede the entire T zone with shadows. The only place to put bronzer is the perimeter, the sides of the nose, and under the lip.

8. When in doubt, go for a lighter foundation color ... because it can be deepened with bronzers and contours to better suit your skin, as opposed to a darker color that cannot be lightened. No one's face is ever tanner than their body. Nix.

9. Only shave the areas of your body that are in absolute need of it... because the little peach fuzz on your stomach, back, chest, and neck will NOT LOOK CUTE when it comes back. If you feel the need to get rid of unnecessary hair on areas other than the legs and arms, wax or epilate!

10. Clean your makeup brushes at least once every two weeks.. because your skin will suffer the consequences if you do not.

11. Tap your concealer on a zit... instead of rubbing or wiping, because the tapping motion, along with the heat of your fingers, will better blend the product into and onto the blemish, instead of swiping it on top. 

12. Wear eye cream every night... even if you are in your teens. It is probably, along with moisturizer and sunscreen, the best thing you can do for your skin and overall look. 

13. Buy men's shaving cream... because it's cheaper, more sensitive because it is created for the face, and works the same.. 

14. DIY Brow Setting Gel... spray hairspray on an old, clean mascara wand and comb it through your brows when you are done filling them in. 

15. Put your makeup on as soon as your moisturizer as absorbed... no sooner, because it will oxidize faster and be too slippery, and no later,  because there won't be the best barrier between the makeup and skin. 

16. Never put liquid products on top of powders... just don't. 

17. Wait 30 seconds for the glue to dry on false lashes... because it allows it to get tacky, and therefore easier to stick onto the eyelid. 

18. Don't play surgeon... if you are under attack of ingrown hair, cystic acne, or anything odd going on beneath your skin, trying to dig it out with tweezers, nails, or anything else bizarre, will never be the right thing to do.

19. Get a cortisone injection on a big pimple... if you have an event to go to and need a humongous monster acne spot gone quick, have your dermatologist inject cortisone into it. It will take less than 24 for it to completely reduce to nothing. 

20. Only spray perfume on the trigger points... the elbows, neck, behind the knees, and behind the ear lobes. Anywhere else will just make you smell too strong

21. Spend money on tools... brushes over cosmetics. Everyday

22. Mix primer with foundation... for an airbrushed, easy finish. 

23. Think opposites when choosing colors... blue eyes? Go for browns and greens. Brown eyes? Blues. The color wheel is more valuable than your second grade teacher emphasized.

24. If you're gonna pick your face, do it after a shower... that way your skin is soft, and the heat will naturally bring anything up to the surface. Cleanse, then put on an overnight mask and forget about it.

25. Toothpaste does NOT dry out a pimple... it will actually make it worse, with the numerous chemicals and technologies. 

26. Smile... it's the prettiest you will ever look. 

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